Sunday, October 9, 2016

Extracts from a book

These are some extracts from a book which I had finished reading, the book title is "I Know What You Are Thinking" by Lillian Glass. Thought of sharing these interesting extracts here:

(1) Head Nodding

People who constantly nod the head while you are speaking may be pleasers, whose aim is to make you feel comfortable. They tend to have a deep-rooted desire to be liked. The head nodding is saying, "Like me - I agree with everything you say, so like me back." They are often insecure people who fear rejection.

(2) Boring Clothes

People who wear boring colors and conservative styles usually do not want to make waves. They are often timid and shy, wanting to blend in and not be noticed.

(3) Overly Buttoned Clothes

People who are well-groomed with a sharp, buttoned-down look may be highly disciplined and well-organized. They may also be rigid and inflexible. These are the kind who press their blue jeans and iron their underwear; they cannot function unless everything is neat and orderly.

(4) The Liar Syndrome

If someone makes a statement such as "Let me be perfectly honest with you," or "I would never lie to you," your initial thought might be, "Why are they telling me they aren't lying? Maybe they are. Otherwise, why would they say something like that?"

Your instincts would be absolutely correct. These verbal reassurances are used by people who are not forthright. You need to be aware of statements such as these in detecting someone who may not be telling the truth.

People who speak indirectly, don't get to the point, and give more information than expected also may not be telling the truth.

(5) Hidden Hands

When a person hides the hands while speaking such as putting them in the pockets, he or she may be hiding valuable information, not wanting to reveal something personally important. I once saw my friend Marty at an event and asked him how his wife, Jeanie was doing, "Oh, she's doing great," he replied, as he placed his hand in his pocket and immediately changed the subject. I found out several days later that he and Jeanie were having marital problems and were headed toward divorce.

This book is good and very in-depth in giving information on how to observe people through their speech content, watching their body language (the body doesn't lie), hearing their voice (the voice doesn't lie) and looking at their facial expression.

After reading this book, I also get to understand myself better.

I love reading, reading can increase my knowledge and improve my life.


Nancy Chan said...

The book sounds interesting. I have come across people who tell me not to tell anyone else what they have told me and right about turn, they are the first one to repeat everything to others. These are scary people.

Libby said...

Nancy: Those are double headed snake, they will gossip about A to B and on the other hand, gossip about B to A. Those are really scary people and my ex-lady boss is like that so I don't like her, very fake

Libby said...

Nancy: Just like what they say, the person who brings information to you, might be carrying information about you to other people

Libby said...

Nancy: It is hard to find true friends in the working circle, but I was fortunate to be able to find some colleagues who can click with me and who became friends after we left the company

Corina Leong said...

The extracts are an eye opener. From my experience, one has to keep an open
mind regarding the dissemination of information in the press, threads on forum etc. The personal experience will vary from person to person.

Some of these traits are cultural. In the Middle East, they tend to build padding in their conversations before they get down to business. One has to build a relationship with them. They are generous people but they don't do open cheque books. On the other hand, Japanese tend to nod their heads a lot when talking. I once worked with a Senior Civil Servant, black lady on secondment (temporary transfer)
who only wore 'safe' colours and plain clothes eg black. She ranked fifth in her seniority in the Cabinet Office (Tony Blair's office. No.10 was his private office). The respective lady was lovely, down to earth and approachable. She was one of the few ethnic minorities that held a very senior position in Central Government.

Linda said...

The things mentioned here can give us an insight into a person, but I don't agree with all of them. For example, someone putting his or her hands in their pockets may be self-conscious, too, such as someone who bites their nails. They may also be shy and unsure of themselves. I try to not be too quick to judge people, as I have sometimes been mistaken and each person is different and has had experiences in their life that may cause them to be the way they are. I also agree with Corina above, some traits may be cultural as well.

One thing I always try to do is to not listen to gossip. Sometimes people can say very nasty things about a person, but usually the people who do this are themselves insecure, and are trying to draw attention away from themselves and their own faults, turning the focus on someone else. I like to make up my own mind about someone. Great food for thought here, dear Libby, thank you so much for sharing.

And I want to thank you so much for looking through my older posts and taking some time to get to know me better. I really appreciate your time and your kindness, and it means so much to me. I hope you are having a great weekend. Hugs. :)

Libby said...

Corina: Hi Corina, you are right to say some traits are cultural, I also observe that the Japanese likes to nod their heads when talking.

Have a great week ahead.

Libby said...

Linda: Hi Linda, you are right to say that we should not be too quick to judge, this book acts as a reference to me only as not everything we can apply to our life.

I apologize for not visiting your blog as often, I hope I have more time to visit your blog more.

I love your sharing and input here and do have a great week ahead!

Cheers :)

Corina Leong said...

And you too, Libby.

CL (RealGunners) said...

Actually, in my experience, "Let me be perfectly honest with you" is not a liar syndrome, it is a beating around the bush symptom. I get this usually when dealing with people who talk a lot of nothing, spinning around here and there without actually saying anything of substance or committal. Then when we corner him/her and force him/her to commit, he/she would go "okay okay, I'll be perfectly honest with you, I..." and continue to spin and spin and spin and beat around the bush.

They're not liars, they're just non committal, so that they can protect themselves whichever way things end up.

Twilight Man said...

There are courses being conducted in overseas like Bangkok where you pay to learn how to read people's body language. I was surprised that big companies send their personnel team to learn it.

Rose World said...

Interesting. Thinking of it, I am the 1st one. I nod a lot when people talk. Unconciously. Hehe.

Phong Hong said...

I have to say that it depends on the individuals. What is pointed out in the book may not apply to all situations.

mun said...

I agree with PH. Cannot lump everyone as the same.

Libby said...